Gentle reader, perhaps you have heard a rumor going around about the world ending tomorrow? Maybe seen those funny altered pics of weather reports of high temps reaching levels even Texas has never seen? While we are 99.9% sure that the world will be just fine tomorrow, it may be time to look back and make sure that we took care of some important things first. Like, did everyone eat all the tacos on the 63 tacos you must eat before you die list? Dude, you haven’t? THERE’S STILL TIME. RUN DON’T WALK. The only fire you should see tomorrow is the fire coming out of your pie hole thanks to all the salsa you’ve consumed.

Illustration by Marc Burckhardt.